The weight that's no one sees. A Letter to Me & you 🤍

Dearest Softest Readers,

I know today feels heavy — and not just because of the laundry piling on the floor or Dust Collecting in the Corners or the way your toddler clung to you through breakfast. I mean the other weight.

The weight one no one else sees but you.

The invisible pain you grin and bear,

The ache that feels right down to your bones,

The fatigue in your mind before your feet even touch your bedroom floor.

They don’t see the pain behind the smile. They don’t see the mental pain of every movement. They just see a woman — a wife, a mother — and assume I’m okay. But I am not always fine. And that’s okay. That's having chronic illnesses. Not everyone understands.

Some may say “ But you carry it so silently, so well. But Why?”

And I Say Because life goes on. Because My children still need their Mummy and cuddles and dinners and My calm voice when their world falls apart.

But I know that some days, you’re breaking behind that smile. And you wonder if anyone truly sees it.

Well i see it.

Because I live it too.

Everyday.

I See you Holding Everything Together through the pain to be the best mother/father you can be!

So they dont see your pain.

One think I do think is you grieve a little when you have a body that doesn’t do what it used to. In watching others rush around effortlessly while you’re calculating if you’ve got enough energy to lift your son or daughter, wondering if you have enough spoons for your chores or if you will just end up using tomorrows and end up in bed tomorrow with no energy left.

And There is always a guilt in needing rest, like when your child wants to play, or Tea needs to be started.

And there’s fear — fear of being judged, misunderstood, or labelled lazy. Especially if you can't work! Especially now you have social media everywhere, everyone's a keyboard warrior out there to judge now.

But il tell you something now, rest doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you aware. Aware what your body and mind need. Aware just how much you can take before a flare or burnout.

And asking for help doesn’t make you a burden — it makes you brave!

My marriage has become a sacred space for that bravery.

In My Previous marriage to my Ex I would never of admitted weakness or defeat and never asked for help.

But Now, With My Wonderful Husband, even In my worst moments — when my limbs feel like sandbags, My Head Burns Life Flames, when my words come out slow and muddled, when I feel like I’m failing — my husband reminds me that I am still worthy. That I’m still beautiful. That I am not my pain. That he loves me no matter what. He will help and support me through anything.

That it's okay and safe to be vulnerable.

Don't get me wrong we’ve had to work and grow through it together.

At first, it was hard. Not the relationship but I felt like I was always apologising for something I couldn’t control due to my past trauma. I was scared that needing more made me less and he would leave me. But over time and with all of his understanding, something gentle bloomed: patience, honesty, a love that isn’t shaken by the hard, messy days and honestly so much.

There’s a special kind of intimacy in being truly seen by the one you love, my soul open and naked to him. Nowhere to hide, he could see everything I ever thought, everything I had ever done. — not just when you’re glowing and full of energy, but when you’re tearful on the sofa, wrapped in a dressing gown, needing someone to carry the load for a while. He saw it all.

If you’re in that kind of place today, let me tell you something:

You are not lazy. Far from it!

You are not weak. Your Strong.

You are doing something extraordinary — mothering through the storm.

You are blossoming.

And if you’re lucky enough to have a partner who stands beside you and doesn’t flinch at the hard days — hold on tightly to them with both hands. That kind of love is rare. And it is real. And it is intimate. And it is the most beautiful love there is.

You’re not alone.

You’re not broken.

You're just becoming the next version of you for your next season in life.

You may just be walking a slightly harder path — and still even finding ways to bring light to those around you. Those who need it even more. That is beautiful 🤍 Keep Going, Don't Give Up 🫶🏼🤍

Yours Softly

xx